zepenthia

It's been almost two decades now since I've posted a journal entry on the internet. I find myself here after having seen the graveyard that Livejournal has become (mine itself has found itself inexplicably stricken from all records, it would appear). This site, seemingly innocuous, meant everything to my younger self. As a shy, introverted high school student interested in what I would consider counter-culture movements of the aughts, Livejournal was a haven. I made friends from around the world all brought together by their love for certain bands, shows, and hobbies. Not only was this a place to write down your thoughts, however inane, but you could branch outside yourself. I loved how it became such a creative space - my feed was dominated by fanfiction, writing prompts, art, Photoshop challenges, and all sorts of fan-made media. It encouraged me to try my hand at all of these things myself, something I would never have done otherwise.

As one of my fandoms has become miraculously and suddenly resurrected, and I am stuck inside due to the current state of the world, I find myself in a similar mental state to the younger me. I find myself desperately searching for that sense of community again, for a creative space to shed all of my IRL anxieties, but I just can't seem to find it. And even if I do find it, I fear age discrepancies would be the larger issue.

I feel like there's so much fragmentation in fandoms now... Almost as if the internet has become too big, and who would ever think that a bad thing except in this instance? There's no place where all this creative energy can come together, thrive, and build on the inspiration of others. There's no true discussion anymore except for ADD refresh feeds of word-count comments and soundbyte quotes.

I think what I'm getting at is... It's just all a little nostalgically depressing, man.
But at least now I've found a place to write it all out, so there's that at least.